Related:

• YOU'RE PROBABLY A REDNECK IF .................... YOU'RE PROBABLY A REDNECK IF .
  ................... When you take your trash to the dump and you return home with more stuff than you left with....
• You know you're a redneck if your car window is a Hefty bag.
  You know you're a redneck if Red Man chewing tobacco sent you a Christmas card....
• YOU'RE PROBABLY A REDNECK IF .................... YOU'RE PROBABLY A REDNECK IF .
  ................... There are enough empty beer cans in your truck that if you turned them all in, you could buy another six-pack....
• REDNECK COMPUTER TERMS BACKUP - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods BAR CODE - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern BUG - The reason you give for calling in sick BYTE - What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro CACHE - Needed when you run out of food stamps CHIP - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in TERMINAL - Time to call the undertaker CRASH - When you go to Junior's party uninvited DIGITAL - The art of counting on your fingers DISKETTE - Female Disco dancer FAX - What you lie about to the IRS HACKER - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking HARDCOPY - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put their hair KEYBOARD - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere MAC - Big Bubba's favorite fast food MEGAHERTZ - How your head feels after 17 beers MODEM - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey and Minnie live NETWORK - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line ONLINE - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test ROM - Where the pope lives SCREEN - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch SERIAL PORT - A red wine you drink with breakfast SUPERCONDUCTOR - Amtrak's Employee of the year SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear HOW DO I SUBSCRIBE?
  It's free! Just send a message to oracle-humor-subscribe@lyris....
• You know you're a redneck if your most successful pick-up line is, "Hey Baby, nice tooth!
  You know you're a redneck if your daughter gets married and all the wedding guests sit on the same side of the church....
• You know you're a redneck if ... ... The primary color of your car is bondo.
  ... In your wedding picture you have a toothpick in your mouth....
• YOU'RE PROBABLY A REDNECK IF .................... YOU'RE PROBABLY A REDNECK IF .
  ................... Anyone in your family wrestles alligators for a living....
• YOU'RE PROBABLY A REDNECK IF .................... YOU'RE PROBABLY A REDNECK IF .
  ................... Every socket in your house breaks a fire code....
• A Change Of Vows... During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer.
  "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows....