For those unfamiliar, Welfare payments are made in the US to
individuals and families with income below a certain level.
The following quotations are taken from actual letters received
by the Welfare Departmentin applications for support of
1. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children.
I had seven but one died which was baptised on a half sheet
2. I am writing the welfare department to say that my baby
was born two years old. When do I get my money?
3. Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for two years and
has been visited regularly by the clergy.
4. I cannot get sick pay. I have six children can you tell me why?
5. I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.
6. This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it.
7. Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am
now living with can't do anything until he knows.
8. I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son
illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before
he was born.
9. In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a son weighing
10 lbs. I hope this is satisfactory.
10. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children
one of which is a mistake as you can see.
11. My husband got his project cut off about two weeks ago and I
haven't had any relief since.
12. Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be
forced to lead an immortal life.
13. You have my changed little boy to a girl, will this
make any difference?
14. I have no children yet, as my husband is a truck
driver and works night and day.
15. I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed
with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good.
If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.
16. In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to
twins in the enclosed envelope.
Copyright 1997 Joke of the Day / TWT. All Rights reserved.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...