1. IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all
your clothes when the light goes out.
2. IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs.
3. IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday
please bring it back or further steps will be taken.
4. IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the
teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
5. ON A CHURCH DOOR: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this
door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use
6. OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles,
washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a
7. QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will
be drowned. By order of the District Council.
8. NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments
here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
9. IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.
10. SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car.
11. SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and doesn't
know it, there is a day care on the first floor.
12. NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field
for free, but the bull charges.
13. MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell
you how to get lessons.
14. ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard
on the door - the bell doesn't work)
15. SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK: Toilet out of
order. Please use floor below.
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