Signs That You Won't Be Winning An Academy Award
10. Instead of "direct to video," your movie was released "direct
to landfill"
9. Film title includes the words "booty" and/or "call"
8. Did Quentin Tarantino direct your movie? No. Did Quentin
Tarantino star in your movie? Yes.
7. After he saw your film, Salman Rushdie called for your death.
6. In your movie, all of Sharon Stone's nude scenes are done
by a stand-in named Stu *
5. In your movie, all of Sharon Stone's nude scenes are done by
a stand-in named Stu *
4. The name of your movie: "The People vs. Larry King"
3. You're this guy
2. When reviewing your films, Siskel and Ebert use a different
finger
1. Your movie's ad line: "Richard Simmons is Hamlet"
MERCURY COMMUNICATIONS GROUP, INC.
10. Instead of "direct to video," your movie was released "direct
to landfill"
9. Film title includes the words "booty" and/or "call"
8. Did Quentin Tarantino direct your movie? No. Did Quentin
Tarantino star in your movie? Yes.
7. After he saw your film, Salman Rushdie called for your death.
6. In your movie, all of Sharon Stone's nude scenes are done
by a stand-in named Stu *
5. In your movie, all of Sharon Stone's nude scenes are done by
a stand-in named Stu *
4. The name of your movie: "The People vs. Larry King"
3. You're this guy
2. When reviewing your films, Siskel and Ebert use a different
finger
1. Your movie's ad line: "Richard Simmons is Hamlet"
MERCURY COMMUNICATIONS GROUP, INC.
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