Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always
ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
Why does sour cream have an Expiration date?
Do infants have as much fun in their infancy as adults do in
adultery?
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of
progress?
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing
liquid contains real lemons?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
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One Liners Worth Remembering
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
Eagles may soa but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
I intend to live forever - so far, so good
I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?...
