BIRTHDAY QUOTES
I never forget my wife's birthday. It's usually the day after she
reminds me about it.
When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a
birthday, she takes a year or two off.
Birthdays, humph.... My folks were so poor we couldn't give my
sister a sweet 16 party until she was 28.
On my 60th birthday my wife gave me a superb birthday present. She
let me win an argument.
A well adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for
her birthday, but even knows what she's going to exchange it for.
We know when we're getting old when the only thing we want for our
birthday is not to be reminded of it.
It's so sad to grow old alone. My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4
years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows.
By the time the last candle was lit on her birthday cake in February,
the first one had gone out. If she ever told her real age her
birthday cake would be a fire hazard. When it was fully lit it
looked like a prairie fire.
I never forget my wife's birthday. It's usually the day after she
reminds me about it.
When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a
birthday, she takes a year or two off.
Birthdays, humph.... My folks were so poor we couldn't give my
sister a sweet 16 party until she was 28.
On my 60th birthday my wife gave me a superb birthday present. She
let me win an argument.
A well adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for
her birthday, but even knows what she's going to exchange it for.
We know when we're getting old when the only thing we want for our
birthday is not to be reminded of it.
It's so sad to grow old alone. My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4
years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows.
By the time the last candle was lit on her birthday cake in February,
the first one had gone out. If she ever told her real age her
birthday cake would be a fire hazard. When it was fully lit it
looked like a prairie fire.
Related:
- Embarrassing moments The following are the top three winners of a
Most Embarrassing Moments Contest in New Woman Magazine.
1)"While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.... - Writing Contest
FROM AN ACTUAL NEWSPAPER CONTEST WHERE
ENTRANTS AGE 4 TO 15 WERE ASKED TO
IMITATE "DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY
My young brother asked me what happens after we die.... - A FEW THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.... - Here are my categories, with examples (his):
ENGLISH
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.... - There once was a man who had a very well developed liking for beans (green
beans, wax beans, kidney beans, limas - it didn't matter which, he liked
them all).
He would go out of his way to get a good bowl of beans.... - TO MY DARLING HUSBAND,
I am sending you this letter via this BBS
communications thing, so that you will be sure to
read it.
Please forgive the deception, but I thought you should know what has been going on at home since your computer entered our lives TWO YEARS AGO.... - Speaking of practical jokes, my wife pulled one several years ago.
.. For my wife's birthday several years ago, some people at the law office where she works hired a male belly dancer to entertain her.... - LIFE IN THE SLAW LANE
by Kip Adotta
It was Cucumber the Fi
Summer was over. I had just spinached a long day and I was busheled.... - A 5-year-old girl gets a kitten for her birthday. Soon thereafter, the Mom,
while getting into the car slams the door on the kitten, killing it in
front of her daughter.
Mom explains that "this is life", accidents happen, we learn from our mistakes, and so on....
