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• Unknown Once upon a time there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans.
  He loved 'em, but always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction....
• Pass the beans please!! Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans.
  She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her....
• The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history
  "Only the future is certain; the past is always changing" A would-be bandit failed because he had written a holdup up note on another bank's withdrawal slip....
• RACIAL/ETHNIC There were these two men drinking together in a bar.
  One was of Chinese extraction, the other Jewish....
• The Wizard of Zone Once upon a time in Depression-era Kansas there was a little black boy named Zachary X (pronounced "ex" not "ten") who lived on a farm.
  He was an orphan, a cheap device to garner your sympathy....
• There once was a business executive who decided he needed a little rest from the daily routine, so he decided to take his pretty, young secretary to a hotel for some whoopee.
  He rented a very nice, quiet room and they spent the day drinking, going to bed, having lunch, drinking some more, back to bed again, etc....
• Paybacks Are a Bitch There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk pulling a wagon and dragging a flattened frog on a string behind i
  when he comes up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...