AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib' re um) n. The point at which the stream of drinking
water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having
to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.
CARPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running
over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and
picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum
one more chance.
DIMP (dimp) n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by
asking, "Do you work here?"
ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma) n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the
EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the
movies who, no matter which direction you lean in, follow suit.
ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one
armrest in a movie theater.
FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the
dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides
to give up and sweep it under the rug.
LACTOMANGULATION (lak to mang yu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here"
spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the "illegal"
PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole
purpose is to walk around asking diners if they would like ground pepper.
PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and
forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting
the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're six
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...