Related:

• Hi, you have reached .... Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call".
• with a kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra" in the background.
  ..] "Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached....
• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• You know what I hate about answering machine messages?
  They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message....
• Just after the earthquake a friend of mine put on his answering machine
  "Hi, this is Jeff. We can't get to the phone right now because we were killed in the Earthquake....
• When I was taking a 300 level computer science class in college there was a girl in the class that was a good friend of mine
  he was one of those people that was accademiclly briliant with zero common scence....
• lt;Cackle> That's right! This is an answering machine!
  In a few seconds, YOU'RE gonna have to leave a message!...
• Spoken in a granny voice) "Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn' have fanshy gadjets like no ansherin' machine.
  You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home....
• It's time to play "What's Your Business" starring you, the caller.
  That's right, you get to leave your name and number on this amazing machine!...