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• TWENTY TYPES OF PEOPLE YOU MIGHT MEET IN THE MEN'S ROOM EXCITABLE
  Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts....
• Everybody pisses on the floor. Be a hero and shit on the ceiling.
• You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
  .... %end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you look like a real wanker....
• THE DARWIN AWARDS Date: December,1997 The Darwin Award is made each year to the person who has managed to kill themselves (and therefore prevent the survival of their genes - hence Darwin!
  ) in the most bizarre way imaginable. Previous winners have included the man killed when the vending machine he was trying to extract a can of Coke from fell on him, and last years aviator who strapped a JATO module (rocket) to his car and lit the blue touchpaper....
• Things to do When Bored -Wax the ceiling -Rearrange political campaign signs -Sharpen your teeth -Play Houdini with one of your siblings -Braid your dog's hair -Clean and polish your belly button -Water your dog.
  ..see if he grows -Wash a tree -Knight yourself -Name your child Edsel -Scare Stephen King -Give your cat a mohawk -Purr -Mow your carpet -Play Pat Boone records backwards -Vacuum your lawn -Whine -Rake your carpet -Re-elect Richard Nixon -Critique "Three's Company" -Listen to a painting -Play with matches -Buff your cat -Race ferrets -Paint your house....
• TOP 118 REASONS WHY IT'S ACCEPTABLE TO DATE A NERD 1) His shoelaces are hardly ever untied 2) Doesn't pick his nose in public 3) Has never put a red shirt in with the whites 4) Was not directly responsible for the Holocaust 5) When getting off an elevator at a 20+ story building
  he doesn't push all the buttons so everyone has to stop at every floor 6) Elvis is dead and Bob Saget is married...
• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
• When I was taking a 300 level computer science class in college there was a girl in the class that was a good friend of mine
  he was one of those people that was accademiclly briliant with zero common scence....
• THE LATEST AND GREATEST AS COMPILED ON 18th October 1991
  The Complete Set Of Blonde Jokes (167) -------------------------------------- Revision 3....