The First Day of School 30 Years Ago and Today
THIRTY YEARS AGO Miss Lichtig receives an apple from an anonymous student
and shows it to her fellow teachers. TODAY Ms. Lichtig receives a package
from an anonymous student and shows it to the bomb squad!
THIRTY YEARS AGO Ed Navis, the class clown, is caught reading Playboy.
TODAY Mrs. McMahon, the art teacher, is caught posing for Playboy!
THIRTY YEARS AGO his entire first-grade class groans when Melvin asks the
teacher "Didn't you forget to give us homework?" TODAY his entire first-
grade class cheers when Rocco asks the teacher, "Hey, where the hell are the
condoms?"
THIRTY YEARS AGO Nurse Dweezel treats the fifth grade's first case of
whooping cough. TODAY Nurse Dweezel treats the fifth grades first case of
morning sickness!
THIRTY YEARS AGO students find mercury, lead and cobalt on the periodic
table. TODAY students find mercury, lead and cobalt in the drinking water!
THIRTY YEARS AGO each class begins with "Show and Tell". TODAY each class
begins with "Search and Frisk"!
THIRTY YEARS AGO ninth grader Clyde Kelly is caught cheating on a pop quiz.
TODAY ninth grader Scott Kelly is caught cheating on his common-law wife!
THIRTY YEARS AGO in assembly, Mr Police Captain tells students how to avoid
being accosted by strangers! TODAY in assembly, Mr. Police Captain tells
students how to avoid being shot by his men!
THIRTY YEARS AGO Miss Lichtig receives an apple from an anonymous student
and shows it to her fellow teachers. TODAY Ms. Lichtig receives a package
from an anonymous student and shows it to the bomb squad!
THIRTY YEARS AGO Ed Navis, the class clown, is caught reading Playboy.
TODAY Mrs. McMahon, the art teacher, is caught posing for Playboy!
THIRTY YEARS AGO his entire first-grade class groans when Melvin asks the
teacher "Didn't you forget to give us homework?" TODAY his entire first-
grade class cheers when Rocco asks the teacher, "Hey, where the hell are the
condoms?"
THIRTY YEARS AGO Nurse Dweezel treats the fifth grade's first case of
whooping cough. TODAY Nurse Dweezel treats the fifth grades first case of
morning sickness!
THIRTY YEARS AGO students find mercury, lead and cobalt on the periodic
table. TODAY students find mercury, lead and cobalt in the drinking water!
THIRTY YEARS AGO each class begins with "Show and Tell". TODAY each class
begins with "Search and Frisk"!
THIRTY YEARS AGO ninth grader Clyde Kelly is caught cheating on a pop quiz.
TODAY ninth grader Scott Kelly is caught cheating on his common-law wife!
THIRTY YEARS AGO in assembly, Mr Police Captain tells students how to avoid
being accosted by strangers! TODAY in assembly, Mr. Police Captain tells
students how to avoid being shot by his men!
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