Q. What is another word for lesbian?
In a pod of whales, how can you tell which one is gay?
He's the one that tips the boat and sucks out the 'seamen!'
What do you call three lesbians in a closet?
A licker cabinet.
Two gay men are walking down the street trying to bum a ride. A
truck driver picks them up. After a while the first gay man asked in a
very gay voice, ''Please sir can I fart?''
The truck driver then says, ''Yeah sure who cares.''
So the gay guy goes ''POOF''.
Then the second gay man asks if he can fart. The truck driver says he
doesn't care and the second gay man went ''poof''.
Then the big truck driver goes to the gay men and says, "Ok gentlemen
can I fart?"
The gay men say right on and the truckdriver lets it blow. The fart
was huge and smelly and loud. The gay men then say, ''He is obviously
Q: What do you call four lesbians in a tent?
A: A finger hut.
What do gay termites eat?
Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank?
Drinking on the job.
How do you know you're in a gay church?
Only half of the congregation is kneeling!
Q. What do gay guys call their condoms?
A. Mud flaps!
Your dad's so gay, when he went missing they put his picture on the
back of a tube of KY Jelly.
Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur?
How does a gay man fake an orgasm?
He spits on his partners back.
What another word for a gay farmer?
A jolly rancher.
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other?
A: Wow! You really do taste like chicken.
What do gay guys eat for dessert?
Nuts on top of a brownie.
Did you hear about the two gay Irishmen?
Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.
What do you call a gay Jamaican guy?
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
So, a gay man goes to church one Sunday. As the offering basket is
passed, he drops in a big wad of bills.
When the basket gets back to the minister, he notices the wad of money
and announces: "Someone here was very generous in the offering today.
I would like to ask the person who gave this large amount of money to
The gay man stood up.
The minister continued, "Well, sir, we certainly do appreciate your
generosity. And to show our appreciation, I'm going to let you select
your three favorite hymns."
"Okay," the gay man replied, "I'll take him, him and him!"
Q: How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One to screw it in and four to stand back and say, "That looks
Did you hear about the gay midget?
He just came out of the cupboard!
Did you hear about the new pick up line going around the gay bars?
"May I push in your stool?"
What's the best pick-up line at a gay bar?
"Can I push in your stool?"
How do you know if you are at a gay picnic?
All of the hot dogs taste like crap.
What's the difference between a gay rodeo and a straight rodeo?
In the straight rodeo they say, ''Ride them suckers!''...
Q: How do you tell if your roommate is gay?
A: His dick tastes like shit.
What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?
"How are we supposed to find an egg in all this shit?"
What do you call a gay guy on an airplane?
A fruit fly.
What do a gay guy and an oven have in common?
They both brown your meat!
Q: What do lesbians do when they have their period?
A: They finger-paint.
Q: Why cant a lesbian go on a diet and wear makeup at the same time?
A: Because they cant eat Jenny Craig and have Mary Kay on their face
at the same time.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Q: What do you call a lesbian eskimo?
A: A klondyke.
What do you call a lesbian with ten girlfriends?
A Bush Hog
What do you call two lesbian Indians in a canoe?
Q: Why are lesbians so lazy?
A: Because they don't do dick and they always eat out.
What did one lesbian say to the other?
You da' man!
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?
See you next month.
Q: What do you call a lesbian with two girlfriends?
A: A bush hog.
What is the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz?
A Ritz is a snack cracker and a lesbian is a crack snacker.
Why dont lesbians ever cook?
Because they always eat out.
Why don't lesbians go on diets and wear makeup at the same time?
It's hard to be on Jenny Craig when you've got Liz Clairborne on your
Q. Why aren't there any nails in a lesbian's coffin.
A. Because they're all tongue and groove.
What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?
Did you hear about the new gay sit-com?
It's called "Leave It, It's Beaver."
Three gay men died, and were cremated. Their lovers happened to be
at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they
planned to do with the ashes.
The first man said, ''My Benny loved to fly, so I'm going up in a
plane to scatter his ashes in the sky.''
The second man said, ''My Carl was a good fisherman, so I'm going to
scatter his ashes in our favorite lake.''
The third man said, ''My Jim was such a good lover, I think I'm going
to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one
Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one night, and had just
finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower.
Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he
decided he was going to join him in the shower.
When Tom got into the bathroom, he opened up the shower curtain and
the first thing he saw was a large cumshot on the wall. He wailed to
Tom, ''I can't believe you! We just finish making love and you come in
here and jack-off!!''
Paul looks at the wall and says ''What are you talkng about? I wasn't
jacking-off, I farted!!!"
Two lesbians walk into a whorehouse and ask for the youngest girl
they got. The madam looks at them for a second and says, "Sorry, we
don't serve minors to lickers!"