The Simpsons

The Simpsons

Home › Fortune Cookies › The Simpsons

A man needs two things: an idea, and money to get it off the ground.
-- Herb Powell, "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?...
I feel so empty, so alone, so... couchless. -- Homer laments the fate of his couch, "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?
There's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends.
-- Homer discovers his new couch, "Brother, Can You Spa...
Ned: [answering the door] Yes? Herb: Oh, I'm sorry, I must have the wrong house.
Ned: Oh, that's where you're wrong, friend. -- Herb pays a visit, "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?...
Todd: Dad, can I anoint the sores on [Herb's] feet?
Ned: No, I think it's Mom's turn, son. Todd: Aw, no fair....
If you ever want to sleep over, Maude and I can sleep on card tables.
-- Ned Flanders, "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?...
Oh, they're singing again. Lousy neighbors, wish I was deaf.
-- Homer, "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?...
at the door] Herb: What am I going to say? This is the guy who ruined me.
But on the other hand, he's family. So many conflicting emotions, how to express them?...
Herb: Every word you say just makes me want to punch you in the face!
Homer: Well, while you're a guest in my home, could you just kick me in the butt?...
Marge: Herb! How have you been? Herb: Well, I've been living in a cardboard box, sleeping on grates, eating out of dumpsters.
You? Marge: Hmm, can't complain. -- "Brother, Can You Spare Two...

< previous

505

506
507
508
509
510
511
512
513
514
654
next >