Otto: My Standards Are Just Too High, You Know? I Feel Like Nobody's Good Enough For Me.

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Otto: My standards are just too high, you know? I feel like
nobody's good enough for me.
[a flea falls from his hair] Oh. You think you got 'em all,
but you forget about the eggs!
Hutz: My problem is I'm a real user of women. I move in right away
and stay until the money's gone.
Edna: Well I'm a smart woman, but I make bad choices.
[Hutz whispers to her]
Oh, ho ho ho. OK, here's a set of house keys and my ATM card.
Smithers: Um, I was married once, but, er, I just didn't know how to
keep it together.
[black & white flashback to Southern Belle on a bed]
Belle: Come on, Waylon. Make love to me the way you used to!
Smithers: [pouring a drink] No!
Belle: It's that horrible Mr. Burns, isn't it?
Smithers: [screaming] You leave Mr. Burns out of this!
[sweeps drinks off table]
Burns: [outside] Smithers! [Smithers walks out joyfully] Smithers!
-- Many a Springfieldian skeleton,
"Secrets of a Successful Marriage"