Related:

• My name is Homer, and I'm just here because the courts made me come.
  -- Homer introduces himself at the Alc-Anon meeting, "Duffle...
• Homer: I'm here for the Alc-Anon meeting. Lovejoy: Mm-hm.
  Third door on your left. [Jasper walks up] Coping with senility?...
• Judge: Your license is hereby revoked, and I'd like you to attend traffic school and two months of Alc-Anon meetings.
  Homer: Your honor, I'd like that stricken from the record....
• Lovejoy: So Homer, pleas feel free to tell us anything.
  There's no judgment here. Homer: The other day I was so desperate for a beer I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers....
• My name is Otto, I looove to get blotto.
  -- Otto introduces himself at the Alc-Anon meeting, "Duffle...
• My name is Hans. Drinking has ruined my life. I'm 31 years old!
  -- Hans Moleman introduces himself at the Alc-Anon meeting, "Duffle...
• Mrs. Lovejoy: I'll just take that -- [sees empty collection plate] [gasps] Everyone turn around and look at this!
  Abe: What is it? A Unitarian? [everyone surrounds Bart] Ba...
• The man never drank a Duff in his life.
  -- Homer watches the Duff Beer commercial from 1960 featuring Nixon, "Duffle...
• Homer: {Mmmmm, Gummi Beers.} [eats one] Hey, Barney, I think you've had enough.
  Barney: [lying on a bench under one of the beer taps] Are you crazy?...