Related:

• She looks around and sees everybody else's dad with a good education, youthful looks, and a clean credit record, and thinks, "Why me?
  What did I do to deserve this fat old piece of......
• Barney: I'm with you, Homer! McAllister: I be with ya too, matey.
  Skinner: I'm with you, Homer. Moe: You're the man, Homer....
• Homer: Dad, how come you never gave me any encouragement?
  Maybe I could have been something more than I am....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Homer: [gasps] You know Lucius Sweet?! He's one of the biggest names in boxing!
  He's exactly as rich and as famous as Don King, and he looks just like him, too!...
• Lisa: And now it's time for the Innocence Report with Homer Simpson.
  [holds sign: "Innocence Report"] Homer: Hello....
• Homer: Lisa, honey, are you going to be OK? Lisa: Bleeding Gums was my hero and I never got to tell him how I felt.
  Homer: Oh, I'm sure he knew, and I'm sure that wherever he is now, he's happy....
• Abe: Why are you people avoiding me? Does my withered face remind you of the grim specter of Death?
  Homer: [pause] Yes, but there's more. [sits down on the couch] Dad, I love you, but -- [angry] you're a weird, sore-headed old crank and nobody likes you!...
• Malloy: Homer, old chap, well done. If anyone was going to catch me, I'm glad it was you.
  Homer: Actually, it wasn't me, it was my dad, Grampa....