Related:

• Homer: You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me.
  So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table....
• You know, some of these stories are pretty good. I never knew mice lived such interesting lives.
  -- Homer watches Itchy and Scratchy, "Itchy and Scratchy and Marge...
• I [HEART] MY [DOGHEAD] -- Enigmatic Bumper Sticke
• You heard me, I won't be in for the rest of the week.
  ... I told you! My baby beat me up! ... No, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up....
• Lisa: He has the demented melancholy of a Tennessee Williams heroine!
  Homer: Don't you think I know that? -- Well, honestly....
• You heard me. I won't be in for the rest of the week .
  .. I told you. My baby beat me up ... Oh, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up....
• Marge: Homer, I'd like to talk to you. Homer: But then I won't be watching TV!
  -- "Itchy and Scratchy: The Movie...
• You know, some of these stories are pretty good. I never knew mice lived such interesting lives.
  -- Homer Simpson Itchy & Scratchy & Marge...
• Sorry, I don't date outside my species. -- Bumper Sticke