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• I saw some awful things in Nam, but you really have to wonder at the mentality that would desecrate a helpless puma!
  -- Principal Skinner, "Separate Vocatio...
• Principal Skinner: So, see me again tomorrow? Patty
  [grunt] I'm afraid that's my microwave cookery class....
• The school is a police state. Students are afraid to sneeze.
  And I have you to thank....
• Skinner: [laughing hard] Ned Flanders actually eliminated detention and put the whole school on the honor system?
  Bart: [laughs] Yeah. And the teachers are afraid to leave the faculty lounge!...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Marge: But on the other hand, when you don't take advantage of an opportunity, you can end up regretting it for the rest of your life.
  Homer: You're right, Marge. Just like the time I could have met Mr....
• Homer: Wait a minute...even Lenny is teaching a class!
  Look at the way they admire and adore him....
• Skinner: More tea, Edna? Krabappel: What kind of little boy has a tea set?
  Skinner: [pours tea] I think we both know the answer to that ....
• Oh, Springfield Elementary! I will have you back again.
  After all, tomorrow is another school day! -- Principal Skinner, "Principal Charming...