Related:

• Don't worry, Dad. Maybe this is just for suspense before the miracle happens.
  -- Bart's been watching too much TV, "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire...
• Maggie is walking by herself. Lisa got straight A's.
  And Bart... Well, we love Bart....
• Gee, Dad. You must really love us to sink *THIS* low.
  -- Bart to Homer in "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire", from The Simpso...
• It doesn't seem possible, but I guess TV has betrayed me.
  -- Bart, "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire...
• Marge: [writing] The magic of the season has touched us all.
  Homer: Marge, haven't you finished that stupid letter yet?...
• Marge: [in bed, reading the shopping list] I get the feeling there's something you haven't told me Homer.
  Homer: Huh? Oh, I love you Marge. Marge: Mm, Homer, you tell me that all the time....
• Marge: A tattoo? Homer: A what? Bart: Yeah, they're cool, and they last for the rest of your lives.
  Marge: You will <not> be getting a tattoo for Christmas....
• Skinner: The fifth grade will now favor us with a scene from Charles uh.
  . Dickens' Christmas Carol. Homer: Ohhhh.... How many grades does this school have!...
• Marge: You will not be getting a tattoo for Christmas.
  Homer: Yeah. If you want one, you'll have to pay for it out of your own allowance....