Related:

• Now I don't want you to worry, class. These test will have no effect on your grade.
  They merely determine your future social status and financial success....
• First question. If I could be any animal, I would be (a) a carpenter ant, (b) a nurse shark, or (c) a lawyer bird.
  -- Ms....
• Well, class the history of our country has been changed again, to correspond with Bart's answers on yesterday's test.
  [groans from the class] America was now discovered in 1942 by ....
• Some of you may discover a wonderful vocation you never even imagined.
  Others may find out that life isn't fair... [turning bitter] in spite of your Masters from Bryn Mawr, you might end up a glorified babysitter to a bunch of dead-eyed fourth-graders while your husband runs naked on a beach with your marriage counselor!...
• What are you looking at, Bart! Are those naughty dogs back again?
  -- Ms. Krabappel catches Bart staring out the window, "Bart the Geniu...
• This is your teacher!? I should start going to Parents' Night.
  [growls] -- Homer sees Bart's photo of a sexy Ms. Krabappel, "Bart the Love...
• Bart, to avoid this test, you've had smallpox, the bends, and that unfortunate bout of Tourette's syndrome.
  -- Mrs. Krabappel, "Marge Gets a Job...
• Are you online? Good! Hit to take the I.Q. Test.
• Connected? Press [Alt-H] to test your IQ.