Bart: Hey, Dad, do you hear voices?
Homer: [angrily] Yes, I'm hearing one right now while I'm trying to
watch TV...
Bart: [checks] Yes. Are you quick to anger?
Homer: Bart! Shut up or I'll shut you up!
Bart: [checks] Yes. Do you wet your pants? Well, even the best of us
has an occasional accident.
[checks the remainder of the form `Yes' all the way down]
-- Filling out a psychiatric evaluation form,
"Stark Raving Dad"
Homer: [angrily] Yes, I'm hearing one right now while I'm trying to
watch TV...
Bart: [checks] Yes. Are you quick to anger?
Homer: Bart! Shut up or I'll shut you up!
Bart: [checks] Yes. Do you wet your pants? Well, even the best of us
has an occasional accident.
[checks the remainder of the form `Yes' all the way down]
-- Filling out a psychiatric evaluation form,
"Stark Raving Dad"
Related:
- Bart: Dad, maybe you should do this.
Homer: Son, it's no different than the time I let you vote for me.
Remember that absentee ballot? -- On filling out... - Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it... - Bart: [on the phone]
Yes, Dad, I solemnly swear I will not tell another living soul.
No, not even Millhouse. [hangs up] [intense... - Bart: Hey, Dad. What's the word with Planet Crackpot?
Homer: Oh, I suppose _you're_ going to mock me, too... - Bart: Mr. Burns, I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I want to
go home to my family.
Burns: [sighs] I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell... - Burns: {I don't remember writing a check for bowling.}
Smithers:
{Uh, Sir, that's a check for your _boweling_.} Burns... - Homer: [asleep on the couch, drool dripping out of his mouth]
Bart+Lisa:
Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? Homer: No... - Bart: [to himself] Look, Homer won't want to go, so just ask
him and he'll say "No." Then it'll be his fault.
Homer: [to himself] I don't want to go, so if he asks... - Bart: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Bart: Please, Dad.
Homer:
No. Bart: Please, Dad. Homer: No. Bart: Please, Dad...
From the same category:
- Homer: Look, everyone: now that I'm a teacher, I've sewed patches on my
elbows!
[shows his elbow] Marge: Homer, that's supposed to... - Brodka: Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson? This is detective Don Brodka from
Try-N-Save security.
That's right, Don Brodka. Your son Bart has... - Bart and Lisa talk simultaneously]
[Bart pulls back the covers]
[Homer looks grotesquely sick]
Bart:
Oh, man, Dad's dead. -- Can we still go to Duff Gardens... - Lisa: Dad, why is the world such a cesspool of corruption?
Homer: [sotto voce] Oh, great... [speaking... - Marley: You mind if I say a few words?
Burns: Oh, me-me-me,
"I want all the attention because it's <my> ...
