Related:

• Grampa: Son, it's me! I floated up toward Heaven but got lost along the way.
  Homer: [gasps] Dad, is that really you? Grampa...
• Homer: I can't tell you how sorry I am, Dad. Grampa
  Is someone talking to me? I didn't hear anything....
• Malloy: Homer, old chap, well done. If anyone was going to catch me, I'm glad it was you.
  Homer: Actually, it wasn't me, it was my dad, Grampa....
• Smithers: [chuckles] Perfect. When I give the signal, you transfer the call to Mr.
  Burns. After she tears into him I'll rush in and save the day....
• Grampa: I think Rudyard Kipling said it best: If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-to
  and lose, and start again at your beginnings, and never breathe a word about your loss, yours is the earth is everything that is in it, and, which is more, you'll be a man, my son....
• Marge: Homer, you didn't tell me Mr. Burns went broke and lost the nuclear power plant!
  Homer: Now I can't remember every little thing that happens in my day....
• Grampa: What's the matter, boy? Homer: Nothing. Grampa
  You haven't said poo all night and usually I have to wrestle the bucket [of `Shakespeare's Fried Chicken'] out of your greasy mitts....
• Abe: And for the minimal outlay of one dollar, you can take home a bottle of liquid Lothario, distilled Don Juan, catalytically- carbonated Cassanova.
  Lock old Rover in the shed, 'cause man has a new best friend in Simpson & Son's revitalizing tonic....
• Abe: And just feast your ears on this tantalizing testimonial from my own flesh and blood, the son that puts the fun in Simpson & Son, my son, Barney!
  Barney: [walks out from behind a curtain] I used to be a fat, disgusting slob....