Related:

• Lisa: The people who deserve it are on the streets, and they're in the slums.
  They're little children who need more library books, and they're families who can't make ends meet....
• Homer: I can't tell you how sorry I am, Dad. Grampa
  Is someone talking to me? I didn't hear anything....
• You know, Jasper, they may say she died of a burst ventricle, but I know she died of a broken heart.
  -- Grampa mourns Bea's passing, "Old Money...
• My mother made me a homosexual! If I send her the yarn, can she make me one too?
• Lisa: Look, Dad. I'll tell you who's going to win the Super Bowl if you want me to, but it'll just validate my theory that you cared more about winning money than you did about me.
  Homer: Okay. -- "Lisa the Greek...
• A lady lost her cat, and took the cat in a little casket up to a big church and said, "I want you to bury my cat.
  And they run her off. She went to another church, and they run her off....
• A Roman divorced from his wife, being highly blamed by his friends, who demanded, "Was she not chaste?
  Was she not fair? Was she not fruitful?" holding out his shoe, asked them whether it was not new and well made....
• You kids should thank your mother. Now that she's a better person, we can see how awful we really are.
  -- Homer at the country club, "Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield...
• Monroe: It's a special isolation chamber. The subject pulls levers to receive food and water.
  The floor can become electrified, and showers of icy water randomly fall on the subject....