Hi, I'm Homer Simpson, I need some guidance, Counselor.

Related:

• I just met this girl Marge Bouvier and I want to force her to like me.
  Homer visits the school guidance counselor, "The...
• Counselor: Do you have any plans for after graduation?
  Homer: Me? I'm gonna drink a lot of beer and...
• The only advice I can give you is, uh, try to share common interests and spend,
  spend, spend. -- Guidance counselor dispenses advice...
• The Counselor and I will be indisposed
  today. --...
• Lovejoy: Marge, we can't tell you how sorry we are.
  Ned: You have our deepest condol-diddely-olences. ...
• Data: "Counselor, I believe your aim is improving." -
  "Qpid", Stardate...
• Homer: So, uh, what are you in for? Marge: I'm a political prisoner.
  Last time <I> ever take a stand... Homer: Well...
• Lisa: Mom! Homer: Huh -- wha -- Lisa! What's up? Lisa:
  I just had a bad dream! Homer: Oh, sure. You just...
• Riker: "I don't believe this!" Troi: "He's king to his particular hill,
  Commander. You have to treat him that way." Riker...