Related:

• Brodka: Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson? This is detective Don Brodka from Try-N-Save security.
  That's right, Don Brodka. Your son Bart has been caught shoplifting....
• Now let me start by saying... Good for you son! It's always good to see young people taking an interest in danger.
  Now a lot of people are going to be telling you you're crazy, and maybe they're right....
• I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?
  -- Bart introduces himself to Satan, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
• Hutz: Hutz is the name, Mr. Simpson. Lionel Hutz, attorney at law.
  Here's my card. It turns into a sponge when you put it in water....
• Judge: Mr. Burns, I must warn you that if you continue to disrupt the court in this way, I will have to cite you for contempt.
  Burns: You wouldn't dare! Judge: Well, no, um, I guess I wouldn't. -- "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
• Homer: Son, if you can look me in the eye and say you didn't take the collection money, that's all I need.
  Bart: [looking at him] I didn't take it. Homer: Why you little -- [strangles him] How can you look me in the eye and lie like that?...
• Mr. Simpson, the state bar forbids me from promising you a big cash settlement.
  But just between you and me, I promise you a big cash settlement....
• Bailiff: Do you promise to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
  Marge: Mmm... Yes, I do. Hutz: She sounded like she was taking that awful seriously....
• Homer: You know, Bart, maybe it's the concussion talking, but any way you choose to live your life is okay with me.
  Bart; Huh? Lisa: [whispering] He thinks you're gay....