Related:

• Just look at the X-rays! You see that dark spot there?
  Whiplash. And this smudge here, that looks like my fingerprint?...
• Homer: The doctor says it's just a bump on the head and a broken toe, nothing serious.
  Hutz: Pfft. Doctors. Doctors are idiots! -- "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
• With all due respect, Mrs. Simpson, you're not a doctor, the boy's not a doctor, the only person who even comes CLOSE is this man [Nick Riviera].
  -- Lionel Hutz responding to Marge's skepticism, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
• Bart: Um, say, is there anything I can do to avoid coming back here?
  Satan: Oh, sure, yeah. But, eh, you wouldn't like it....
• Hutz: Hutz is the name, Mr. Simpson. Lionel Hutz, attorney at law.
  Here's my card. It turns into a sponge when you put it in water....
• Lisa: Excuse me, Mr. Hutz. Are you a shyster? Hutz
  How does a nice little girl like you know a big word like that?...
• Mr. Simpson, the state bar forbids me from promising you a big cash settlement.
  But just between you and me, I promise you a big cash settlement....
• Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law. What's that, a broken neck?
  Great! -- Chasing a gurney down the corridor, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
• I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?
  -- Bart introduces himself to Satan, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...