Dear Purveyors Of Senseless Violence: I Know This May Sound Silly At First, But I Believe That The Cartoons You Show To Our Children Are Influencing Their Behavior In A Negative Way.

Bart+Lisa: [laugh at an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon] Marge
My, all this senseless violence. I don't understand the appeal....
Marge: I hope you realize now that violence on TV may be funny, but it's not so funny when that violence is happening to you.
Bart: [smug] But it _would_ be funny to someone who was watching us....
Marge: Well kids, I tried, but maybe you're right. Home
Wait a minute, Marge. Love isn't hopeless. Maybe I'm no expert on the subject, but there was one time I got it right....
Such senseless violence! I don't understand it." "We don't expect you to.
If cartoons were meant for adults, they'd be on in prime time....
Meyers: I did a little research and I discovered a startling thing.
.. There was violence in the past, long before cartoons were invented....
Marge: What do we want? Crowd: Less and less violence in children's programming!
Marge: When do we want it? Crowd: Now!...
Bart: Oh wow, cool! Lisa: Aw, cool! That is neato.
Marge: Such a violent motif. Bart: Yeah, but it's just pretend violence, which is _actually_ beneficial for children....
You know, some of these stories are pretty good. I never knew mice lived such interesting lives.
-- Homer Simpson Itchy & Scratchy & Marge...
Myers: Take a letter, Miss White. Dear valued viewer, thank you for taking an interest in the Itchy and Scratchy program.
Enclosed is a personally autographed photo of America's favorite cat and mouse team to add to your collection....