Bart: Oh wow, cool!
Lisa: Aw, cool! That is neato.
Marge: Such a violent motif.
Bart: Yeah, but it's just pretend violence, which is _actually_
beneficial for children. [kicks Lisa]
Lisa: Ow! [punches Bart]
Bart: Ow!
Marge: Hmm...
Guard: [laughs] There's no need to murmur, ma'am. Here at Itchy and
Scratchy Land we're just as concerned about violence as you are.
That's why we're always careful to show the consequences of
deadly mayhem so that we may educate as well as horrify.
Marge: _When_ do you show the consequences? On TV that mouse pulled out
that cat's lungs and played them like a bagpipe, but in the next
scene the cat was breathing comfortably.
Guard: Just like in real life.
[pause]
[pointing] Hey, look over there!
[family does so, he takes off quickly]
-- A Hutz-esque argument, "Itchy and Scratchy Land"
Lisa: Aw, cool! That is neato.
Marge: Such a violent motif.
Bart: Yeah, but it's just pretend violence, which is _actually_
beneficial for children. [kicks Lisa]
Lisa: Ow! [punches Bart]
Bart: Ow!
Marge: Hmm...
Guard: [laughs] There's no need to murmur, ma'am. Here at Itchy and
Scratchy Land we're just as concerned about violence as you are.
That's why we're always careful to show the consequences of
deadly mayhem so that we may educate as well as horrify.
Marge: _When_ do you show the consequences? On TV that mouse pulled out
that cat's lungs and played them like a bagpipe, but in the next
scene the cat was breathing comfortably.
Guard: Just like in real life.
[pause]
[pointing] Hey, look over there!
[family does so, he takes off quickly]
-- A Hutz-esque argument, "Itchy and Scratchy Land"
Related:
- Marge: I hope you realize now that violence on TV may be funny,
but it's not so funny when that violence is... - Marge: I need to purchase a brassiere. You kids wait over here in the
credit department.
Bart: Oh, can't we just wander around and meet you... - Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it... - Lisa: So it's true: some cartoons _do_ encourage violence.
[punches Bart] Bart: Ow! We gotta get Itchy & Scratchy... - Lisa: You can't be cool just by spouting off a bunch of worn-out
buzzwords.
Bart: Don't have a cow, Lis! Marge: Bart's right. ... - Lisa: Why don't we all look at the photo album?
Homer:
[as Marge opens it] So many memories. Aw, look --... - Bart: [to waiter] I'll have a Brain Burger with extra pus,
please. Marge: Bart! Homer: Eyeball stew. Marge... - Bart: Who would have thought that our visit to Itchy and Scratchy Land
would turn out to be our best vacation ever?
Lisa: Yeah, best ever! Marge: Are you two bonkers?... - Homer: One adult and four children.
Woman: Would you like to buy some Itchy and Scratchy Money?
Homer: What's that? Woman: Well it's money that's made...
From the same category:
- Kid: Paper or plastic?
Selma: You decide. [looks down] So,
wearing a belt, are you? Kid: Uh-huh. Selma: No... - It's no use, Bart. We've looked up and down these docks,
from Pier One to that Pier One by Pier 17. -- Lisa... - Chairman: Dr. Nick, this malpractice committee has received a few
complaints against you.
[reads from clipboard] Of the 160 gravest... - Judge: Mr. Hutz, we've been in here for four hours.
Do you have any evidence at all? Hutz: Well... - Barney: Hey, Homer, you wanna go bowling next Sunday?
Homer: Barney, are you nuts? That's the Super Bowl...
