Related:

• Bart: I know that's funny, but I'm just not laughing.
  [taps head] Lisa: Hmm. Pablo Neruda said, "Laughter is the language of the soul....
• Bart: Otto, I'm going to leap over Springfield Gorge on my skateboard.
  Otto: You know, Bart, as the only adult here, I feel I should say something?...
• Marge: Are you all right? Bart: Better than all right.
  I got stitches! [lifts the bandage] Homer+Lisa: Ewwwww....
• Bart: Hey, Dad. What's the word with Planet Crackpot?
  Homer: Oh, I suppose _you're_ going to mock me, too!...
• Brodka: Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson? This is detective Don Brodka from Try-N-Save security.
  That's right, Don Brodka. Your son Bart has been caught shoplifting....
• Bart: [hammering away] Homer: Bart, you don't have any hobbies, do you, boy?
  Bart: No, not really. Homer: Well, that what I......
• I tried ordering you, I tried punishing you, and God help me, I even tried reasoning with you.
  -- Homer, "Bart the Daredevil...
• Homer: What the hell are you reading books for? Ba
  I'm doing "The Conan O'Brien Show", and I want to have some intelligent stuff to talk about....
• Homer: I have an announcement to make. As a family growth thing, Bart and I think we should all go to the monster truck rally this Saturday.
  Lisa: Aren't you forgetting something? Homer: Uh....