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• McClure: Welcome back! I'm talking with the curator of the museum of TV and Television, Mr.
  John Winslow. [Winslow is about to say something, but McClure gets up and leaves] In our final spinoff tonight, the Simpson family finally gets the chance to show off the full range of their talents....
• McClure: That's it for our spinoff showcase. But what about the show that started it all?
  How do you keep "The Simpsons" fresh and funny after eight long years?...
• McClure: [noticing he's on the air again] Oh, hi!
  Welcome back to our spinoff showcase. Could "The Simpsons" ever have maintained its popularity without Moe the bartender?...
• I'm your host, Troy McClure. You may remember me from such films as "The Erotic Adventures of Hercules" and "Dial M for Murderousness"!
  -- Troy McClure hosts another stupid television show, "Mr. Plow...
• McClure: Thirty-five new shows to fill a few holes in their programming lineup.
  [presents a schedule chart that's actually more holes than lineup] That's a pretty daunting task -- and the producers weren't up to it....
• Bart: Wait a minute, whoa, whoa. [whistles to call the orchestra's attention] Stop the music.
  [they do] Where's dad? [the Simpsons begin to look] "Lisa...
• Chief Wiggum, P. I." will return -- right now! -- Announcer, "The Simpsons Spinoff Showcase
• Wiggum: Oh, man, what a day. It's no cakewalk being a single parent, juggling a career and family like so many juggling balls .
  .. two I suppose. Ralph: Daddy, these rubber pants are hot....
• Wiggum: If it isn't my old friends from Springfield, the Simpsons!
  What brings you folks to New Orleans? Ba...