Man: You May Be Interested To Know That For My Next Crime, I'll Be Pinching The Pride And Joy Of The Springfield Museum -- The World's Largest Cubic Zirconia.

Well, Mr. Cat Burglar, you'd like to get in here, wouldn't you?
There's just one little problem: 36 years ago, some lady gave birth to a man named Homer J....
Abe: He was right under my nose the whole time. He lives in my retirement home.
His name is Malloy. Lisa: Wow! How'd you track him down, Grampa?...
Homer: I caught the Cat Burglar! I caught the Cat Burglar!
That means you-ou! You are the Cat Burglar!...
Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
Burns: We don't have to be adversaries, Homer. We both want a fair union contract.
Homer: [thinking] Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?...
Kent: When cat burglaries start, can mass murders be far behind?
This reporter isn't saying that the burglar is an inhuman monster like the Wolfman, but he very well could be....
Ned: OK, folks, look: I called the police captain in Shelbyville.
He says he hasn't seen our kids, but if they show up in the morgue, he'll fax us....
Burns: Now, let's get down to business. Homer: [thinks] Oh, man.
I have to go to the bathroom. Why did I have all that beer and coffee and watermelon?...
Maude: OK, boys, time for bed. Say good night. Rod+Todd
Good night, Daddy. Good night, Uncle Homer. Home...