Related:

• Kent: Hordes of panicky people seem to be evacuating the town for some unknown reason.
  Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?...
• Man: You may be interested to know that for my next crime, I'll be pinching the pride and joy of the Springfield Museum -- the world's largest cubic zirconia.
  Homer: Listen, Mr. Cat Burglar, I vow to go without sleep and guard the Springfield Museum day and night for as long as it takes from now on....
• Kent: Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charges that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down eighty percent, while heavy sack-beatings are up a shocking nine hundred percent?
  Homer: Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent....
• phone rings] Kent: Well it looks like we have our first caller.
  ..and I mean ever, because this is not a call-in show....
• on "Bite Back"] Kent: Apu, will you ever stop selling spoiled meat?
  Apu: No -- I mean, yes -- I mean -- uh oh. [sweats] [Apu turns off the TV] I think I come off very well....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Kent: Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been causing more crimes than it's been preventing?
  Homer: Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes....
• Brief History Of Linux (#19) Boy meets operating system The young Linus Torvalds might have been just another CompSci student if it wasn't for his experiences in the Univ.
  of Helsinki's Fall 1990 Unix & C course. During one class, the professor experienced difficulty getting Minix to work properly on a Sun box....
• Well, this reporter was...possibly a little hasty earlier and would like to.
  ..reaffirm his allegiance to this country and its human president....