CBG: Yes, Finally! I Would Like To Return Your Quote, Unquote Ultimate Belt.

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CBG: Yes, finally! I would like to return your quote, unquote
Ultimate Belt.
Salesman: I see. Do you have a receipt, quote, unquote, sir?
CBG: No, I do not have a receipt. I won it as a door prize at the
Star Trek Convention, although I find their choice of prize
highly illogical, as the average Trekker has no use for a
_medium_-sized belt.
Salesman: Whoa! Whoa! A fat, sarcastic Star Trek fan. You must be a
devil with the ladies. [sarcastic wink]
CBG: Hey, I... [sighs] That... Oh...
Salesman: Gee, I hate to let you down, Casanova, but, uh, no receipt, no
return. [walks away]
Bart: I'll give you four bucks for it.
CBG: [sighs, then sells him the belt]
Very well. I must hurry back to my comic book store, where I
dispense the insults rather than absorb them.
-- A taste of his own medicine, "The Homer They Fall"

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