Related:

• I guess watching me isn't any more exciting than being me.
  -- Homer (a little metahumor for y'all), "Bart on the Road...
• Smithers: [walks up] Simpson! What in God's name are you-- Lisa
  [offers Smithers some candy] Zagnut bar, Mr. Smithers?...
• Bart eats a candy bar] Homer: Kids, your daddy and his daddy are involved in a very sticky, nutty, chewy, chocolatey -- put it away, boy!
  ituation. And your daddy has realized something very importa...
• Marge: All right, family time begins now. [turns a kitchen timer to 0
  60] [Bart yawns; Homer yawns] [Homer grabs the timer and starts turning it the other way] Marge...
• Martin: [to his flipping dog] Oh boy, Flipsy! You and I are going on a road trip.
  [Nelson grabs Martin and tosses Flipsy out the window] [Flipsy gets run over by a car] Nelso...
• Homer: What the hell are you reading books for? Ba
  I'm doing "The Conan O'Brien Show", and I want to have some intelligent stuff to talk about....
• Marge: Inflation, trade deficits, horrible war atrocities .
  .. how are we supposed to do our big musical number with so many problems in the world?...
• An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in.
  A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...