Troy: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such public service videos as "Designated Drivers:

Troy: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such public
service videos as "Designated Drivers: The Lifesaving Nerds" and
"Phony Tornado Alarms Reduce Readiness". I'm here today to give
you the skinny on shoplifting, thereby completing my plea bargain
with the good people at "Foot Locker" of Beverly Hills.
[scene switch] Shoplifting began here, in ancient Phonecia.
Thieves would literally lift the corner of a shop in order to
snatch the sweet, sweet olives within. [a man does so]
Oh, Shakazaramesh, will you ever learn? Flash forward to ancient
Babylonia --
-- Troy McClure, public service guy,
"Marge Be Not Proud"