Ned: Our annual father-son rafting trip is next weekend.
Bart: [thinking] Oh no, me bring Homer on a rafting trip?
[In Bart's imagination, Homer wears a paper sailor hat and
faces the wrong way in the raft]
Homer: Duh, I'm the captain. My son is Bart. [splashes everyone
with his oar]
Father 1: What an oaf!
Father 2: How embarrassing.
Camper: Glad he's not _my_ father.
-- Nightmare rafting trips, "Boy Scoutz 'N the Hood"
Bart: [thinking] Oh no, me bring Homer on a rafting trip?
[In Bart's imagination, Homer wears a paper sailor hat and
faces the wrong way in the raft]
Homer: Duh, I'm the captain. My son is Bart. [splashes everyone
with his oar]
Father 1: What an oaf!
Father 2: How embarrassing.
Camper: Glad he's not _my_ father.
-- Nightmare rafting trips, "Boy Scoutz 'N the Hood"
Related:
- Homer: How was jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to
trees?
And build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs... - Bart: [to himself] Look, Homer won't want to go, so just ask
him and he'll say "No." Then it'll be his fault.
Homer: [to himself] I don't want to go, so if he asks... - Ned: Well, I guess now we know why they call them "rapids" and not
"slowpids",
huh? Bart: [appreciative] Ha, ha! Homer: You are not... - Homer: Son, there was something I was going to give you at the end of
this trip,
but since we may not survive, I want you to have it... - Belle: I'm sorry. This is all my fault. Bart was filling in for.
Homer: I don't care if he was filling in for Mel Zetz... - Homer: Don't worry, boy. We're gonna set you straight.
By tomorrow morning, you'll be a regular Burt... - You are not my son!
--
Homer Simpson Boy-Scoutz n the... - Homer: Pssst. Marge, come take a look at this.
[Bart has fallen asleep at his desk]
Marge:
Oh... the little tiger tries so hard. Why does... - Homer: A whole week of just father and son. See you at dinner.
[both walk off whistling] Bart: What time? Homer:...
From the same category:
- Oh, who thought a whale could be so heavy?! [sees Mulder] Cheese it!
The feds! -- Moe, "The Springfield... - Homer: But, Marge, this is a chance for me to fulfil my lifelong dream.
Marge: *What* lifelong dream? -- Just pick one from... - It's so nice not to have to cook.
-- Marge enjoys a meal in prison,
"Marge in... - Jerry: Clarinet?
Homer: No.
Jerry: Oboe?
Homer: No.
Jerry: Saxophone? Homer: No. Wait a minute, what was... - Marge: I know Bart can be a handful, but I also know what he's like
inside.
He's got a spark. It's not a bad thing. ... Of course...
