Abe: It all began when Jebediah Springfield first came to these
lands with his partner, Shelbyville Manhattan.
[flash to pilgrims approaching a hilltop]
Jebediah: People, our search is over! On this site we shall build a new
town where we can worship freely, govern justly, and grow vast
fields of hemp for making rope and blankets.
Shelb.: Yes, _and_ marry our cousins.
Jebediah: I was -- what are you talking about, Shelbyville? Why would
we want to marry our cousins?
Shelb.: Because they're so attractive. I, I thought that was the
whole point of this journey.
Jebediah: Absolutely not!
Shelb.: I tell you, I won't live in a town that robs men of the right
to marry their cousins.
Jebediah: Well, then, we'll form our own town. Who will come and live a
life devoted to chastity, abstinence, and a flavorless mush I
[the people divide between Jebediah and Shelbyville]
Abe: The town of Springfield was born on that day, and to mark that
sweet moment, our people planted this lemon tree (lemons being
the sweetest fruit available at the time).
-- From humble beginnings, "Lemon of Troy"