Kent: And with the prime suspect cleared and found completely innocent,
we must now ask ourselves: who could possibly be as bloodthirsty
as Waylon Smithers?
Marge: I guess it's never the most likely suspect.
Lisa: Actually, Mom, in 95% of cases, it is. The rest of the time,
it's usually some deranged lunatic who did it for no reason.
[everyone looks at Homer]
Homer: Hey! I had a damn good reason. He could never remember my name.
[flashback to part one]
Burns: Who the devil are you?
Homer: [loses it, rushes Burns] Homer Simpson!
Burns: You're just babbling incoherently.
Homer: My name is Homer Simpson...
[back to the present]
Lisa: Well I don't think anyone in this family is capable of attempted
murder.
Abe: Eh...you never know what you're capable of. I never thought I
could shoot down a German plane, but last year I proved myself
wrong.
Lisa: Nancy Drew says that all you need to solve a mystery is an
inquisitive temperament and two good friends. And I've got an
inquisitive temperament. Maybe I could help solve this.
Marge: Mmmmm...I think you're a little young to be investigating an
attempted murder. Why don't you try to solve the mystery of who
put that mud in the freezer?
Bart: Who wants chocolate ice cream?
Homer: Me, me, me!
-- Abe, ever optimistic, "Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part Two"
we must now ask ourselves: who could possibly be as bloodthirsty
as Waylon Smithers?
Marge: I guess it's never the most likely suspect.
Lisa: Actually, Mom, in 95% of cases, it is. The rest of the time,
it's usually some deranged lunatic who did it for no reason.
[everyone looks at Homer]
Homer: Hey! I had a damn good reason. He could never remember my name.
[flashback to part one]
Burns: Who the devil are you?
Homer: [loses it, rushes Burns] Homer Simpson!
Burns: You're just babbling incoherently.
Homer: My name is Homer Simpson...
[back to the present]
Lisa: Well I don't think anyone in this family is capable of attempted
murder.
Abe: Eh...you never know what you're capable of. I never thought I
could shoot down a German plane, but last year I proved myself
wrong.
Lisa: Nancy Drew says that all you need to solve a mystery is an
inquisitive temperament and two good friends. And I've got an
inquisitive temperament. Maybe I could help solve this.
Marge: Mmmmm...I think you're a little young to be investigating an
attempted murder. Why don't you try to solve the mystery of who
put that mud in the freezer?
Bart: Who wants chocolate ice cream?
Homer: Me, me, me!
-- Abe, ever optimistic, "Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part Two"
Related:
- Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it... - Lisa: Everyone in Springfield had a reason to shoot Mr.
Burns, even us. [everyone groans in agreement]... - Selma: Mr. Burns has been shot.
Wiggum: Just a minute!
This isn't Mr. Burns at all! It's a mask! ... - Lisa: Stop! Don't shoot my Dad. He's innocent. He wouldn't hurt a
fly!
[they open the door] Burns: [being strangled and shaken]... - Marge: The police have such a strong case against Homer.
Mr. Burns said he did it, they have Homer's... - Burns: [turning on the light] Who the devil are you?
[Homer has painted "I am Homer Simpson" on the wall]... - Lisa: Hey! Chief Wiggum, what are you doing? What's going on?
Wiggum: I'm sorry, kid, we got Simpson DNA on Burns'... - Smithers: Er, um, there's some candy right here, Sir.
[points to a box] Why don't we eat this instead... - Lisa: Anyway, my point is, the evidence isn't as concrete as it seems.
Like those fingerprints: they could have gotten on...
