Number One: Tonight we are here to commemorate our glorious society's
1500th anniversary, and in honor of this momentous
occasion...we're havin' ribs.
[everyone cheers as caterers roll carts out]
Homer: Uh oh, I need a bib. If I slop any on my shirt, I could
lose the respect of my beloved bretheren.
Number One: So let us rejoice and enjoy our meal in the shadow of the
hallowed, sacred parchment.
[everyone looks, gasps to see it gone]
Lenny: Homer...[points at his "bib" -- the parchment]
Homer: Huh? Oh, yeah. Thanks, Lenny. [wipes his mouth with it]
Number One: This is just appalling and outrageous!
Homer: What, did I miss something? [wipes his mouth again]
[everyone murmurs angrily]
Krusty: Oh...
Moe: Oh, God!
Lenny: Oh, Homer, no! [Homer cleans his ears] This is outrageous:
you can't do that! [Homer blows his nose] No!
Carl: You really are stupid.
-- Hallowed, sacred, slightly soiled parchment,
"Homer the Great"
1500th anniversary, and in honor of this momentous
occasion...we're havin' ribs.
[everyone cheers as caterers roll carts out]
Homer: Uh oh, I need a bib. If I slop any on my shirt, I could
lose the respect of my beloved bretheren.
Number One: So let us rejoice and enjoy our meal in the shadow of the
hallowed, sacred parchment.
[everyone looks, gasps to see it gone]
Lenny: Homer...[points at his "bib" -- the parchment]
Homer: Huh? Oh, yeah. Thanks, Lenny. [wipes his mouth with it]
Number One: This is just appalling and outrageous!
Homer: What, did I miss something? [wipes his mouth again]
[everyone murmurs angrily]
Krusty: Oh...
Moe: Oh, God!
Lenny: Oh, Homer, no! [Homer cleans his ears] This is outrageous:
you can't do that! [Homer blows his nose] No!
Carl: You really are stupid.
-- Hallowed, sacred, slightly soiled parchment,
"Homer the Great"
Related:
- Number One: Homer Simpson, for your continuing and baffling desecration
of our beloved sacred parchment,
you are hereby banished from the stonecutters... - Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it... - Lenny: You want another card or not?
Homer: Huh? Oh,
OK. I'll take three. [Moe deals them] D'oh! D'oh... - Lenny: Hey, Moe...you got change for a five?
Moe:
Yeah, sure thing Lenny. [opens cash register]... - Homer raises his arms one at a time in front of a fan]
[Carl and Lenny hold hankies to their noses and cough]
Carl:
[gagging] Homer, you should see a doctor -- I don't... - Homer hands over his robe]
Number One: And the official Stonecutter underwear too.
Homer: Aw. [hands it over] [Number One... - Homer: And by the sacred parchment, I swear that if I reveal the
secrets of the Stonecutters,
may my stomach become bloated and my head... - Homer: Oh, how am I going to tell Marge we're broke?
I need a miracle... [sees... - Marge: Homer! Bart! Maggie! Company eating rules.
Homer: [burps] Oh, right. [everyone eats all...
