Harvey: Hello, Americans, Paul Harvey here. Did you know every
good American is at heart an erotic American? It's true.
A famous couple -- I don't need to tell you it was Dwight
and Mamie Eisenhower -- offered _this_ advice: "Double your
pleasure with a bath...together!"
[Homer sits in the bathtub, a lit candle perched nearby]
Marge: [climbing in, straining] Homey, I can't quite --
Homer: Faucet's jammed into my back...I'm stuck!
Marge: [grunts] So am I!
Homer: [strains; dislodges faucet] Oh!
[water sprays into Marge's face; a drop extinguishes the
candle]
Homer+Marge: Kids? Kids!
-- "Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy"
good American is at heart an erotic American? It's true.
A famous couple -- I don't need to tell you it was Dwight
and Mamie Eisenhower -- offered _this_ advice: "Double your
pleasure with a bath...together!"
[Homer sits in the bathtub, a lit candle perched nearby]
Marge: [climbing in, straining] Homey, I can't quite --
Homer: Faucet's jammed into my back...I'm stuck!
Marge: [grunts] So am I!
Homer: [strains; dislodges faucet] Oh!
[water sprays into Marge's face; a drop extinguishes the
candle]
Homer+Marge: Kids? Kids!
-- "Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy"
Related:
- Marge: Homey, are you really going to ignore Grampa for the rest of your
life.
Homer: Of course not, Marge, just for the rest of his... - Harvey: By now your new, improved lovelife should have you flinging woo
like nobody's business.
So to you, Mr. and Mrs. Erotic American, I... - Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it... - Marge: This one's a good choice, and it's not too smutty.
It's a book on tape by Paul Harvey, you know... - Bart: [bursting in] Mom! Dad!
Homer+Marge: Don't turn on the light!
Don't turn on the light! Bart: There's a UFO... - Marge: Mmm, I hope you kept the Homey-fires burning.
[Homer snores] Homer... Homer: Huh? Marge: Homer... - Homer: Aw, Marge, kids, I miss my club.
Marge: Oh,
Homey. You know, you are a member of a very exclusive... - Homer opens the door resolutely, then unplugs the TV]
[the kids,
watching it, open their mouths] Homer: [quickly] Kids... - Harvey: A romantic vacation can provide titillation.
Sensual, sanitary seclusion awaits you at...
From the same category:
- Thank you, Martha Quinn. [Audience applauds]
There you have it:
unrehearsed testimonies from important celebrities... - Hi, kids! You've reached the Krusty Hot-Line!
If you haven't asked your parent's permission,
naughty-naughty! But Krusty forgives you. ($2 for the... - Gerry: Hello. I'm retired heavyweight boxer Gerry Cooney.
Welcome to Mr. Burns' Casino! If there's anything... - So you're saying this fish may have an advantage over other fish.
It may be, in fact, a kind of `Super-Fish'! -- Monty... - Hutz: First some ground rules. Number one, we get bathroom breaks
every half-hour.
Flanders: Agreed. Number two, the jury will be chosen...
