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• Homer: We always have one good kid and one lousy kid.
  Why can't both our kids be good? Marge: We have three kids, Homer. Separate Vacatio...
• My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -- Rodney Dangerfield
• Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together. -- Joan Thompso
• When we are right we can afford to keep our tempers. When we are wrong, we can't afford not to.
• Life Sucks. Cynical, misanthropic male, 34, looking for soul mate but certain not to find her.
  Drop me a note. I'll call you, we'll talk and I'll ask you out to dinner where I'll probably spend more than I can afford in a feeble attempt to impress you....
• Oh, we 're a' noddin', nid, nid, noddin'; Oh, we 're a' noddin' at our house at hame.
  -- Lady Nairne (1766-1845) -- We 're a' Noddin'...
• My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked.
  -- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)...
• Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we should have people standing in the corners of our rooms.
  -- Alan Core...