Related:

• A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake.
  Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help....
• You are ugly and your mother dresses you funny.
• You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny.
• For a funny quote, call back late.
• Quote #473 If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of doing you good, you should run for your life.
  -- "Thoreau's Law...
• Bart: People, people! It's time we all discussed the pool safety rules!
  Kids: [chanting] Jump, Bart, jump! Jump, Bart, jump!...
• Never enter the dungeon naked! The monsters will laugh at you!
• You cannot see farther than others by standing on the feet of giants.
• The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn.
  The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it....