How many elephants -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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• How many elephants -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Only one, but it has to stand on a trunk to do it...
• How many Dan Quayles -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  One, but it has to be a pretty dim bulb...
• How many Germans -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Two, one to give the order that the bulb be changed...
• How many keyboardists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Two: One to screw in the bulb, and one to patch it...
• How many bureaucrats -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Two. One to screw it in and one to screw it up...
• How many economists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Two. One to assume the latter (a pun) and change the...
• How many Greek gods -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the...
• How many Zen masters -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Two: one to change the bulb and one not to change it...
• How many junkies -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Two: One to roll it, and one to light it up...