Related:

• A lady came up to me on the street and pointed to my suede jacket.
  "You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" she sneered....
• Moe: How many people want Homer banned from this place for life?
  Everyone: Yeah! Homer: Aw, come on, everybody. This bar is like a tavern to me....
• Dr. Foster: Well, how are you feeling this evening?
  Ned: Uh, actually, I'm a little chilly. Can I have another strait jacket?...
• Homer: Dad, how come you never gave me any encouragement?
  Maybe I could have been something more than I am....
• I gave her the ring; she gave me the finger.
• Take pride in how far you have come, have faith in how far you can go.
• I gave my life to learning how to live. Now that I have organized it all it's just about over.
  -- Sandra Hochma...
• Please come home with me... I have Tylenol!! -- Zippy the Pinhead