Related:

• Two Finns and a penguin are sitting on the front porch of a large house.
  The penguin is dripping in sweat; his owner looks down and says to the other Finn, "Hey Urho, I want that you should take the penguin to the zoo, okay?...
• Did you all know that there is five constipated men in the bible?
  1) Caine, he wasn't able 2) Moses, he took the tablets 3) Solomon, he sat for fourty days 4) Samson, he brought the house down 5) Baalam, he couldn't move his ass....
• Marge: I'm afraid we're going to need a bigger house.
  Homer: No, we won't. I've got it all figured out....
• The gym teacher's name was Mr. Caruso. Mr. Caruso did not speak English.
  He spoke "Gym." One day I was playing basketball and Mr....
• Without coffee he could not work, or at least he could not have worked in the way he did.
  In addition to paper and pens, he took with him everywhere as an indispensable article of equipment the coffee machine, which was no less important to him than his table or his white robe....
• He was the Word, that spake it: He took the bread and brake i
  And what that Word did make it, I do believe and take it....
• And on the seventh day, He took an aspirin.
• Rush Limbaugh: He can dish it out, but he can't take it!