Related:

• You can't spank the monkey if he's on your back.
• Well, we know he's LAWFUL evil, so he should keep his word when he promised not to betray us.
• There should be a detective show called "Johnny Monkey
  because every week you could have a guy say "I ain't gonna get caught by no MONKEY," but then he would, and I don't think I'd ever get tired of that....
• Homer: [giggles] I can see everything and they're none the wiser!
  [the glass starts to crack, then it breaks and he falls in] Moe...
• God only made man because he was disappointed with the monkey. -- Mark Twai
• He who has no mind to trade with the devil, should be so wise as to keep from his shop. -- South
• Akira: Hello, I am Akira. Ha! [breaks a cinder block with his forehead] That didn't hurt very much, because I know the ancient art of karate.
  [lying on his back with a giant rock on his chest, as two men pound the rock with sledgehammers] Karate focuses the mind and gives you self-confidence....
• Apu: Excuse me, Your Honor? I'd like to bring something to the court's attention.
  [removes "open eye" glasses from snoring, drooling Homer] [judge bangs her gavel] Home...
• If a man does not make new acquaintances, as he advances through life, he soon will find himself alone.
  A man should keep his friendship in constant repair. -- Johnso...