Related:

• A poet only writes about the things he cannot do.
  -- A canard, sung by Meg in The One Love of My Life, -- in Lerner's and Lowe's Brigadoo...
• Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone.
  Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it....
• I have a headache today, leave me alone.
• In Music, the next best thing to a Lerner, is a Lowe.
• I have heard the mavis singing Its love-song to the mo
  I 've seen the dew-drop clinging To the rose just newly born....
• I listen to feminists and all these radical gals -- most of them are failures.
  They've blown it. Some of them have been married, but they married some Casper Milquetoast who asked permission to go to the bathroom....
• Marge: Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test? Homer, shouldn't we have gone with a better-known brand?
  Homer: But Marge, this one came with a corn-cob pipe! -- And smoke it, "I Married Marge...
• I have certainly known more men destroyed by the desire to have a wife and child and to keep them in comfort than I have seen destroyed by drink and harlots.
  -- William Butler Yeats (1865-1939) Attributed...
• Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can.
  Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO....