Related:

• INTRODUCTION, n. A social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies.
  The introduction attains its most malevolent development in this century, being, indeed, closely related to our political system....
• RIGHTEOUSNESS, n. A sturdy virtue that was once found among the Pantidoodles inhabiting the lower part of the peninsula of Oque.
  Some feeble attempts were made by returned missionaries to introduce it into several European countries, but it appears to have been imperfectly expounded....
• DAY, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
  This period is divided into two parts, the day proper and the night, or day improper -- the former devoted to sins of business, the latter consecrated to the other sort....
• bug n. An unwanted and unintended property of a program or piece of hardware, esp.
  one that causes it to malfunction. Antonym of feature....
• PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme.
  This doctrine should not be confused with that of foreordination, which means that all things are programmed, but does not affirm their occurrence, that being only an implication from other doctrines by which this is entailed....
• IMPALE, v.t. In popular usage to pierce with any weapon which remains fixed in the wound.
  This, however, is inaccurate; to imaple is, properly, to put to death by thrusting an upright sharp stake into the body, the victim being left in a sitting position....
• DIE, n. The singular of "dice." We seldom hear the word, because there is a prohibitory proverb, "Never say die.
  At long intervals, however, some one says: "The die is cast," which is not true, for it is cut....
• ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related as follows by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape, S.
  J. One day a wag -- what would the wretch be at?...
• ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage.
  A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though from this view of the matter there was once a considerably dissent among the learned, some holding that the posture of the body was immaterial....