Related:

• PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics.
  The other is Pull. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PANTHEISM, n. The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• SACERDOTALIST, n. One who holds the belief that a clergyman is a priest.
  Denial of this momentous doctrine is the hardest challenge that is now flung into the teeth of the Episcopalian church by the Neo-Dictionarians....
• ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear.
  In Virginia City, Nevada, he is called the Washoe Canary, in Dakota, the Senator, and everywhere the Donkey....
• MALTHUSIAN, adj. Pertaining to Malthus and his doctrines.
  Malthus believed in artificially limiting population, but found that it could not be done by talking....
• EXISTENCE, n. A transient, horrible, fantastic dream, Wherein is nothing yet all things do seem
  From which we're wakened by a friendly nudge Of our bedfellow Death, and cry...
• INNATE, adj. Natural, inherent -- as innate ideas, that is to say, ideas that we are born with, having had them previously imparted to us.
  The doctrine of innate ideas is one of the most admirable faiths of philosophy, being itself an innate idea and therefore inaccessible to disproof, though Locke foolishly supposed himself to have given it "a black eye....
• UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only.
  This important distinction between ubiquity and omnipresence was not clear to the mediaeval Church and there was much bloodshed about it....
• RIGHTEOUSNESS, n. A sturdy virtue that was once found among the Pantidoodles inhabiting the lower part of the peninsula of Oque.
  Some feeble attempts were made by returned missionaries to introduce it into several European countries, but it appears to have been imperfectly expounded....