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• Guest hosting for David Letterman tonight is you.
• Guest hosting for Jay Leno tonight is you.
• Guest hosting for Rush Limbaugh tonight is Eric Biesterfeld.
• I used to eat while I was in the supermarket. I guess I didn't consider it stealing 'cause I took it out inside my body.
  -- Arsenio Hall...
• Who put the "arse" in Arsenio?
• You are in the hall of the mountain king.
• Are you going to sleep at all tonight?!
• You will be a guest at a happy party that'll have important consequences for you.
• Bart: Wait a minute, whoa, whoa. [whistles to call the orchestra's attention] Stop the music.
  [they do] Where's dad? [the Simpsons begin to look] "Lisa...